Are You Devastated After Discovering Your Partner Has Cheated On You?

Has your relationship been shattered by infidelity? Maybe you’ve noticed that you and your partner have been growing apart, focusing your attention on other friends or activities. Now, the revelation of an affair has forced you to see your relationship for what it has become.  

Maybe emotional boundaries have been crossed and you’ve been spending more time with someone else than you do with your partner. Perhaps you’ve noticed you can no longer communicate constructively. Now, there’s only raised voices and arguments, predominantly about what motivated the cheating in the first place. 

No matter how much damage an affair has caused, you may not be ready to end your relationship. Your shared history can motivate you to rebuild the trust you once had, but where do you start?

Do you wish you could talk about your relationship problems constructively, without falling into an argument? Are you ready to meet with someone to reestablish mutual trust and address the core relationship issues that left one or both of you unsatisfied?

Infidelity Doesn’t Have A Universal Definition

Infidelity is heart-breaking and, sadly, not uncommon. The issue is complicated, as there is no single, comprehensive definition of “cheating.” For many, a relationship crumbles over time as one partner engages in “micro-cheating.” Micro-cheating is when someone carries out small actions that suggest infidelity, like sending texts or emails to the would-be “other” man or woman, then deleting them so as not to be discovered. Often, micro cheating is a gateway to full-scale infidelity. 

Increased connectivity and technology have made infidelity both exceedingly easy to carry out, and incredibly difficult to define. Micro-cheating can look like reconnecting with old flames on social media, sexting, sending racy photos, or looking at pornography. It can be hard to decipher when seemingly innocent online interactions cross the line into dangerous territory. Often,  cheating accusations are not clear-cut. One person may insist their partner betrayed them, while the other doesn’t understand how their actions were hurtful.

No matter how you define infidelity, one thing is certain: you’re hurt and your relationship is in trouble. Working with an experienced counselor can help you uncover the root causes of problems in your relationship and teach you to reestablish trust and connection.

Creating A “New” Marriage Or Partnership To Repair The Wounds

It’s easy to shatter completely when you read an incriminating email between your partner and an old flame or catch them in a compromising situation. You may believe your relationship is beyond repair. But, if you and your partner are committed to facing what went wrong, you will be amazed at what infidelity therapy can accomplish.

As an infidelity counselor, my role is to encourage you to reconnect in meaningful ways. Rather than simply trying to fix your “old” relationship, I will help you establish a “new” marriage through improved communication, renewing intimacy and emotional closeness. We will also address feelings of inadequacy that made one of you look to fulfill your needs outside the relationship.

I highly recommend that partners have each look at the other’s phone—no deletions allowed ahead of time. If necessary, download a program that stores deleted texts. This software is not for incriminating or punishing a cheating partner, but to promote transparency and accountability. 

Forgiveness after infidelity doesn’t happen right away; first, a great deal of listening and learning must take place for the injured partner. Together, we will evaluate what went wrong and work on building your marriage anew. You and your partner will learn to do things differently—and together. I will help formulate a plan to do this, and provide you with healthy defense mechanisms to employ when you’re about to have another argument.

Working through your problems requires a level of commitment that perhaps you’ve never had before. But if you’re both committed to working things out, I firmly believe you can. Infidelity is devastating, but it isn’t a death sentence for your relationship if you don’t want it to be. Rebuilding trust after an affair is formidable, but not impossible.

You May Have Some Concerns About Infidelity Therapy…

My partner thinks I’m the one who needs help for making them cheat.

Therapy establishes responsibility and accountability between both of you. If you can convince your partner to come to one or two sessions, we can discuss why he or she feels this way and dig deeper into how it will affect your future together.

I’m too hurt to consider infidelity counseling. I think we need to divorce.

When two people are committed to fixing their relationship, you’d be surprised what can happen. That commitment is all I need in order to work with you. I would encourage you to give infidelity therapy a try before deciding to separate.

Is infidelity therapy expensive?

Infidelity counseling is an investment in your relationship. It is addressing the issues that have been troubling you in a revealing and effective way.  Therapy is far more productive than camouflaging the problem with a fancy dinner or a vacation. I assure you that it is money well spent.

Rebuild Your Connection And Trust With Infidelity Therapy

If you are ready to reach out to an infidelity therapist, contact me at (334) 277-1366 for a free 15-minute consultation, to see if we are a good fit. I look forward to hearing from you.